Studying Together: Coeducation in Pakistan

Written on 5th Oct, 2009, Personal Diary

by

Sadaf Fayyaz

It’s often very difficult to portray glimpses of your high school days. Though, I have revitalizing recollections associated with my high school days. But everything is a combination of good and bad memoirs, so the golden days had some black and agonizing memories too. I mentioned only the positive side of the story, but the two sides of the coin are One such thing happened during our final papers as well. We used to sit together and some of the boys and girls came to me discussing numerical and theoretical concepts. One day, we sat enjoying in our college canteen, when a special correspondent came hastily towards us and snored, “Sir is in a dreadful mood and told me that he doesn’t want to see the four girls of his class, including me and three friends of mine.” We were all shocked. “Has he gone nutty or psycho?” replied one of my friends. “He has always been a psycho, Fatima, nothing new, let us go to him and see why he’s growling in anger”. When we went to meet him, he replied,”I have seen you guys sitting on the laps of boys with my own eyes, and sitting very closely to them, I have seen with my own eyes”. Though school teachers were off from the invigilation duty, and some new invigilators were assigned in the examination halls. What was he talking about? Usually crap stuff and meaningless nonsense, because I never saw him in the college during board papers. Thanks to his Reuter reporters.

At times there were birthday parties and some students used to bring cakes and refreshments, so that we could share the bubbly event together. But this unison was even criticized overdramatically. Some of the CSI agents went to the teacher and told him that I had a severe crush on a class boy, which really infuriated me. I am not a kind of a person who falls in love easily and develop crushes quickly. The people I find with good caliber and etiquettes, become a part of my network. For example I have been a great fan of Vital Signs, if someone asks me about my “Chehra mera tha nigahein uski, Khamoshi mein bhi wo batein uski”msn or facebook status that what kind of a status is it, etc. I will definitely remove him from my network. Since it is a ghazal by Late Parvin Shakir and composed luminously by Vital Signs. It added more traumas when a guy from my class pointed out the same, that I had a crush on him. Anyways it was very difficult to justify that I had very few crushes. I am not blaming the system but the problems and low-rated thinking associated with it.

So these events do not sensationalize or fabricate. They provide a deep insight into what kind of a co-ed college system we were having and what could be the drawbacks. If you seriously want to reform or bring improvement in someone’s behavior, follow Kiran Bedi. The way she has worked hard on serious criminals and transforming them into good human beings is appraising. I would call it a transformational leadership style. This kind of education system certainly doesn’t prepare us for graduate school life, where we work together with boys and even married individuals. I have always worked on different projects with young men and the core focus being an A+ rated project, not love stories. I at times remember working with four young gentlemen on cement sector analysis and was asked to lead them. So should one expect that bizarre co-ed system was of any help?

Besides a love relationship, there can also be some other kind of relationships among folks, which are almost impossible to define. You know very well about your boundaries and limits. But scandalizing a fine set of connections won’t leave you anywhere. You should believe in developing a good network and taking advantage of it. There are other things in life besides crushes and juvenile mediocre-class thinking. A better co-ed system is seriously needed, which polishes your skills and helps you in being a part of the amiable society. ........ Perceptions are good but never be a slave of them. Sadaf Fayyaz same. I remember some painful memories and events regarding my high school days too.

The very first thing was a dim-witted co-education system in an armed forces college. The students came from sundry cultural backgrounds and families. The networking among students proved to be very difficult and power-distant. When you come from different backgrounds and study with people, who are entirely different from you, it is a bit tough for you. But there is always an adjustment.

I remember some prickly episodes of the co-ed system, we were victims of. Our class boys gave some titles (not the vulgar ones,) to all the class girls. The next day, our class teacher, who always showed a weird paranoid attitude, started shouting at us. He said that he highly despised the title giving stuff and networking among the class fellows. “What the hell is that? Are we making love or dramatizing Romeo & Juliet? Pooh”. I thought.

There followed a series of filthy events after this one. Since some teachers’ pets found a golden chance to attract attention of teachers. They lacked personality traits and intellect, so found spying and slandering a better way to be prominent before the instructors. What I thought of it initially, was that no one wanted any one to reform or improve: It was an immense source of fun and entertainment for most of the folks. The investigation and spying performed was somewhat better than CID style. (They should have taken assistance from the high school folks).

One such event that I remember, is of a junior folk’s childish crush on me. I suspected his attitude, but it became apparent when he asked two of my friends to talk to me about it. When they came to me, I straightaway rejected. But the class folks found a nice and sizzling debatable topic. “She doesn’t look 19, she looks of our age”, commented one of the friends. I was very much shocked to hear a remark from a teacher, “I am happy that she has rejected him”, he told one of his special news correspondents on the trip. The grapevine travelled down to me. It was my personal business; no one should have bothered about it. I wasn’t eloping with him like a fugitive. We weren’t running away from our homes. In fact no one was escaping from his/her home or was willing to drink poison.

I remember another event where a close friend of mine was badly alleged of giving heroinic looks to the class boys. “If she doesn’t give looks to boys, should she give them to old 70-year-old men?” I thought seriously. There was another friend of mine who was a tomboy. She was very cute and highly supporting. A teacher developed so much grudge against her that he wasn’t passing her for 33% marks, which was a core requirement for appearing in board. He developed a very reckless impression that she used to bring boys closer to the girls. But she got the highest marks in mathematics, which proved the insane grudge only a myth.